Talking about emotionally difficult subjects: Dr. Caron Goode interviews me on her blog

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Today I have the great pleasure of being the host on Day 6 of the Virtual Blog Tour of author Carolyn A. Brent whose book Why Wait? The Baby Boomers’ Guide to Preparing Emotionally, Financially and Legally for a Parent’s Death launches on Amazon on Tuesday November 15, 2011.

Author Carolyn A. Brent, M.B.A. is a former clinical educational manager in the pharmaceutical industry. She is an avid activist and advocate working with the U.S. Congress for the purpose of creating change to protect seniors and veterans from financial and medical abuse. She has appeared on many local and national TV and radio shows, and is a sought-after keynote speaker. 

Yesterday, Carolyn visited Kathleen H. Wheeler at http://broughttomysenses.wordpress.com/2011/10/16/carolyn-brent-aging-parents-caregiving-issues-family-relationships , where they talked about some questions on understanding various different family relationships and what to do/expect.

Today, I’d like to share with you a recent interview I had with Carolyn when I got to ask her personal story and on communicating on a couple of touchy subjects. I hope you enjoy it.

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 Dr. Caron Goode: What is your personal story?

 Carolyn A. Brent: I became an accidental expert on this topic due to unforeseen circumstances. For years I tried unsuccessfully to have a conversation with my own siblings about the medical and financial needs of our aging father, then in his seventies, who was suffering from dementia and other medical complications. Because of my Dad’s failing health I felt I should initiate this conversation since I had an especially close relationship with him. My siblings just flat out refused to have the crucial conversation with me, each other, and our father. My siblings were simply too busy with their own lives, and so we put it off. In our case, this led to an extremely bad outcome.

 As a direct result, I have turned my pain into passion in the need to helping caregivers and their families talk about and prepare for end-of-life. I believe if we are prepared it can avoid conflict that will come up when a parent is sick or dying. I am now spreading the important message that planning is critical, and families must begin talking to one another as early as possible. For the past few years I’ve traveled across the country giving lectures at churches and to members of organizations with an interest in these issues, and I’ve spoken with numerous family caregivers. I set up CaregiverStory.com to disseminate resources to help family caregivers. I’ve gone on radio and television. I’ve worked to pass new laws in Congress. Now I’ve written Why Wait?

Dr. Caron Goode: What are the most charged emotional conversations in families?

Carolyn A. Brent: Money (GREED) has become the most charged emotional conversation in families. When a parent is healthy is the time to select a responsible person even outside the family regarding finances, and who will be the fiduciary. If the money part of caregiving is resolved early while your parents are healthy the chances are greater that the health care areas are resolved as well. They both go hand in hand.

Dr. Caron Goode: Is there a best or effective conversation technique to open and facilitate the topic?

Carolyn A. Brent: Relationships can be complicated. It is best to engage in effective conversations and effective communication before you wait until there is a problem. It is best to start having the conversation early, and informal in a relaxed environment.

Through research, I found a great book by (McGraw-Hill, 1999), Phil Harkins defines a powerful conversation as one that advances an agenda, where participants share learning and strengthen their relationship. He believes the most important aspect underlying strong relationships is trust, which can be fostered during and after significant conversations by what he terms the “four Cs”: caring, commitment, clarity, and consistency. Because of this book, I am more mindful in how I share my thoughts and communicate with others.

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I hope you enjoyed this interview with Carolyn A. Brent and that you’ll check out her book Why Wait? The Baby Boomers’ Guide to Preparing Emotionally, Financially and Legally for a Parent’s Death at http://www.babyboomersguide.org/book-launch/pre-launch.html

 Why Wait? The Baby Boomers’ Guide to Preparing Emotionally, Financially and Legally for a Parent’s Death.

This book gives you a comprehensive handbook for family caregivers, outlining a step-by-step process that can spare caregivers and their families the stress of conflict at a time of grieving and loss, and provide an opportunity to mend fences and renew the connection and communication they once enjoyed with each other.

The book Why Wait? is having its official Amazon launch on Tuesday November 15th. To celebrate this launch, I will be hosting a FR*EE 3-part telesummit, with a panel of experts in the field of aging and care giving on November 8th, 9th and 10th:

 Why Wait? Telesummit

8 Leading Expert Speakers on Preparing Emotionally,
Financially and Legally for the Death of a Parent

DATES: November 8th, 9th, 10th, 2011

TIME: 12noon PST, 3pm EST, 8pm UK, 9pm Europe
LENGTH: 90 minutes each

 Guest speakers:

  • Carolyn A. Brent, M.B.A. – speaker, activist, author of Why Wait?
  • Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC – author, coach, book promotions
  • Mikol S. Davis, Ed.D. – Clinical psychologist specializing in aging issues
  • Caron Goode, Ph.D. – Founder of Academy for Coaching Parents
  • Patricia Tyson RN/BSN – Hospice Nurse
  • Alexis Abramson, Ph.D. – consultant, author, champion for those over 50
  • Ameenah Fuller, MPP – Publisher and Candidate forCaliforniaStateSenate
  • Carolyn Rosenblatt, RN, BSN – author, attorney, specializing in legal issues of aging

To register FR*EE, go to:

http://babyboomersguide.org/book-launch/telesummit.html

If you cannot attend the live event, register anyway because the audio will be available for a limited time after the event.

 On that call, you’ll receive over 4 hours of
compassionate advice and practical information to help you deal the topic

no one really wants to talk about, but absolutely must.

 To support me in the launch of this important book, many of my friends and colleagues have come together to offer a wonderful collection of FR*EE downloadable personal development gifts, which are yours when you buy the book on the day of the launch.

To find out more about how to buy the book, and receive all these free gifts on November 15th, go to: http://babyboomersguide.org/book. On that page, you can sign up for a “launch reminder” so you don’t forget to come back and get the book and claim your gifts on November 15th.

Aging can be a scary topic for many of us. But it can also be a time when we become more graceful and wise. My hope is that this book will help thousands of people learn how to deal with this very important subject, which is relevant to all of us.

I do invite you to check it out, and I look forward to seeing you at the “Why Wait Telesummit” on November 8th, 9th and 10th.

Again, to register, go to: http://babyboomersguide.org/book-launch/telesummit.html

 Best regards,

Carolyn A. Brent, M.B.A.

 

 

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Author and public speaker, Carolyn A. Brent, provides a comprehensive handbook for family caregivers, highlighting the crucial conversations siblings and their aging parents  must have. She draws upon her own heartbreaking family experiences, plus exhaustive research  on the subject, outlining a step-by-step process that can spare caregivers and their families the stress of conflict at a time of grieving and loss, but also an opportunity to mend fences and renew the connection and communication they once enjoyed with each other.

You can also download a free Medical Check List by clicking this link.

And please do leave a comment below. I would love to hear about your personal story or experiences on this topic.


Carolyn A. Brent, M.B.A., is a former clinical educational manager in the pharmaceutical industry. During her role as a panelist on many clinical studies, she developed a passion to inform the public about the many side effects of drugs, especially those used in the care of the elderly. When her own father became ill with dementia in 1997, she began to experience firsthand the frustration of not only coping with the medical world, but also the legal, financial, and, of course, emotional aspects of caring for her aging father. Today, Carolyn is an avid activist and advocate working with the U.S. Congress for the purpose of creating change to protect seniors and veterans from financial and medical abuse. She has appeared on many local and national TV and radio shows, and is a sought-after keynote speaker. She resides in Northern California.

Her book Why Wait? The Baby Boomers’ Guide to Preparing Emotionally, Financially and Legally for a Parent’s Death is coming out Nov 15, 2011.

 

About Carolyn Brent

Dr. Carolyn A. Brent, is an award-winning bestselling author and a National Physique Committee (NPC) Masters Women's Figure Champion at age 60. She is an expert on both self-care and caregiving; she is the founder of Across All Ages and two nonprofit organizations, CareGiverStory Inc. and Grandpa's Dream. Carolyn's research and extensive collection of published works have made her a notable figure in her field. For seventeen years, she worked for some of the world's leading pharmaceutical companies and has worked as a volunteer at various assisted-living facilities. Her award-winning books include The Caregiver's Companion: Caring for Your Loved One Medically, Financially and Emotionally While Caring for Yourself and The Caregiver's Legal Survival Guide: Navigating through the Legal System.

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