Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
I hope you all are doing well.
I will forever enjoy our conversations on the topics of Transforming Your Life Through Self-Care: A Guide to Tapping Into Your Deep Beauty and Inner Worth. Also, I love our discussions about the importance of not being stuck in “any” uncomfortable situation that does not serve a divine purpose in your life. Keep in mind, the act of true love and true friendship will never hurt you.
I encourage my readers to never feel rushed to do your assignments. They are only meant as a step-by-step guide to help you walk through your new journey of FREEDOM. And, the assignments will help you to get to know you. However, please try your best to do just a little bit each day and check them off of your to-do list.
I strongly recommend that you record your answers. Writing them down will do two things: First, it will make your words more powerful and concrete. Second, it will provide a record of your journey as you transform your life.
Some people like to write in a journal. The act of putting pen to paper can have profound effects. Numerous studies indicate that journaling can provide health benefits to individuals. Other people like to use their computers to capture their thoughts. I personally create binders for myself and my clients, where we can include not only our own answers to questions but also articles, cartoons, and even drawings that may help us on our journey.
Whatever way you choose to record your answers is fine. What’s important is that you use the power of your deep beauty and inner worth to make the changes that will lead you to a healthier and happier life.
Words are important. They can inspire or deflate. Ignite or extinguish. Drive you to action or move you to despair. The words others use against us have power. But the words we use against ourselves are infinitely more powerful: “I am not worth it.” “I can’t.” “I give up.” We have all used those words against ourselves at some point in our life, and the results can be devastating.
On the flip side, words of joy and confidence help us achieve our dreams: “I am beautiful inside and out.” “I love myself.” “I am so worth it.”
Every day I read the courageous stories of people who have overcome incredible obstacles and tragedies in their lives. Every day I also read the stories of people using every excuse in the book to justify their actions and faults. I have come to the conclusion that the difference between these two groups of people is how much they are committed to transforming their lives.
Transforming occurs in two primary stages. The first is the aha moment when you recognize the need to change. The second stage is when you act with discipline and persistence. We all have aha moments. You know the moment when it hits you. Maybe it is the straw the breaks the camel’s back. I have a friend who was married to a guy with a drug habit. For years they did the dance of him relapsing and her forgiving. One day she came home to find that he had sold her vacuum cleaner for some crack. She loved that particular vacuum cleaner. At that moment, her whole attitude toward him changed, and she got off the hopeless hamster wheel of thinking she could change him. She found herself and started living her life. Who knew a vacuum cleaner could inspire an aha moment?
Many of us have that aha moment when it comes to our weight. We see a picture of ourselves and feel embarrassed. We find out that we are suffering serious health consequences from our overindulgence in food and under indulgence in exercise. We get that wake-up call and immediately go on a diet and commit to exercising every day.
In both of these examples, you see action. Unfortunately, action requires ongoing discipline and persistence to be truly transforming. Even after my friend had her aha moment and acted, there were times she slipped back into old habits of how she interacted with her husband. And there is probably not a person reading this book who has not put back on the weight he or she worked so hard to lose.
True transformation requires the structure and control that makes you repeatedly do what needs to be done to achieve your goals—no matter if they are personal or professional. You see this bottomless discipline in world-class athletes like those in the Olympics. No matter what, they train and sacrifice because they want to be the best in the world. If they fall, they get up. If they are distracted, they refocus. They do what needs to be done every single day.
I also have witnessed this discipline in my ongoing work with caregivers. They structure their days so they can provide care to loved ones. They are intensely clear on their priorities and how they allocate their time and resources. They engage a support network to keep them motivated.
Again, they do what it takes every day. And, so can you.
While on my self-care journey, I discovered an important formula that I would like to share with you:
There’s nothing more powerful than having a made-up mind and then going for your goal every single day with intensely focused actions and bottomless discipline. It will give you the knowledge and confidence required to be an authority “on” your life. And this formula will allow you to not only tap into your deep beauty and inner worth but also replenish it.
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