Read an account from John W. Sandifer, JD, showing a perfect example of a family working together and having a “Crucial Conversation” for the well being of an elder loved one.
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Recently my 90 year old mother went on a 2 week cruise for her birthday with a close family friend that lives in California. A couple of weeks after their return to Chicago, the family friend emailed my younger brother who also lives in Chicago and myself.
The family friend said that she had noticed during their 10 days at sea that my mom was having memory challenges. She thought that maybe mom was starting to show early signs of dementia and suggested that we talk to a doctor about certain medications to halt it or at least slow down the disease.
I stay in constant touch with my mother. I talk to her every other day, and bring her out to California every 3 months or so. I had never noticed anything unusual about our constant interactions. I called my brother and asked him had he noticed any changes in mom’s behavior. He also talks and sees mom all the time. He said he saw no change in her behavior.
Since my brother is married and does not live with our mom, we decided to call our niece who lives full-time in our mom’s house and ask if she noticed any changes in mom. All 3 of us had a conference call to discuss mom’s health. My niece said she saw no problems with mom and was extremely sharp. My mother has always made jokes that the older she gets, the worst her memory gets. But we always told her that her memory was better than all of ours.
It just so happened that mom was due to have a physical exam right after she got home. My brother, niece and I decided that when my niece went to the doctor’s appointment with mom, she would discuss with the doctor our concern of whether or not mom had a memory problem. We also talked to mom and asked her if she felt she was having any challenges. She said she was fine, but did have a few memory lapse’s now and then.
We all decided that if anything had to be medically done, we would try to take a holistic approach first. We did not want to put mom on a lot of medication if it was not needed. Once a person gets on drugs, there is no turning back. The doctor’s appointment found my mom in excellent health and no signs of dementia.
Yes, she has minor memory loss which is expected in someone of her age. Now, we as a family have agreed for mom to start first with natural memory enhancing herbs to help her, and she is doing great.
